Billy Mayes

Billy sat anxiously in the Job Corp headquarters. The place looked like Phillipe Starck shat all over it: lemon colored butterfly chairs sat on top of a shag that looked like it was made from the clippings of a thousand jews hair. Maybe that's what Job Corp did with all the black sheep that crossed their paths, Billy thought. He looked up to see the sign change it's number and with a ding his name was called.
"Billy Mayes please come up to the front."
"Hey hey how's it going, okay here's what I was thinking..." Billy started out ready to pitch his way out of this unemployment office.
"Your job," the jobmaster said with a pause, "is to find the greatest song in the world."
Billy's face went slack like a broken guitar string. "Where am I supposed to even look?" He asked. "You've got to be joking."
"You have one year from today, January 31st, 2032, at 2:32 pm to complete this mission for the federation," the jobmaster said through droll lips. "There will be no more questions.
"Wait. You don't understand. I'm Billy Mayes. Sham-Wow! Oxi-clean! That's me! Now let's just talk about this song assignment."
"Sir, you have been given your assignment, you have one year from today, January 31st, 2032, at 2:32 pm, to complete your mission for the federation, now please step away from the window," and without a blink the windows closed.
In a wink Billy was back in his bathroom, where this all began. He floated above the toilet, just an inch farther than ten minutes ago. Wait, Billy thought as he realized he was floating. Thoughts of "this can't be good" moved through his brain as he tried to figure out just what was going on. The burning sensation in his nostrils had subsided, even though he had just taken a line off the vanity mirror that sat crookedly on the bathroom sink. From somewhere that was not there, or at least not in the physical sense, the air brought a song to him. It rang out O-Bla-Di, O-Bla-Da over and over again. A song, Billy thought, I must find the song.
The thought of his mission pushed his mind beyond his own addictions and for a split second he thought about where they had gone, but gave up in this new reality. Billy was still extremely confused, but settled. He didn't need to know who the federation was, it felt natural. He didn't need to dope on a fix, they had gone away. Even the holes in his nose felt more whole. "This song must be found, he thought, this song must be found."